One of these was coconuts. She would buy several coconuts a week to use in food from the local market. Being a horny young man, coconutthrowaway69 decided that these coconuts would not be for eating. He drilled a large hole in the coconut, added some butter for lube , and shoved his penis in the coconut. Now, while this story has been horrifying from the get-go, this is where it gets worse. This is where it gets horribly, horribly wrong. He then, naturally, threw the coconut across the room in horror and had to clean up the maggoty, semeny, coconutty mess from his floor. He then decided to share his story with the world, as a word of warning to other people with penises considering sticking said penises in coconuts. Fruit, vegetables, and other food objects yes, even pies are not designed to put your penis inside.
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It should be perfectly clear that you are not supposed to put your dick into a coconut, but there's just no stopping some people. Those are the kind of people who will go ahead and put their dick in a coconut even if you explicitly tell them what a terrible idea it is. This is where people come to share stories of some calamity that users have gotten themselves into. He said that while he was living in Mozambique, his mother was going through a "health nut" phase, meaning that there was a lot of fruit in the house, including coconuts. One day I hear that my mother is going to be out for pretty much the entire afternoon. The man then details how he drilled a hole big enough to insert his penis into the coconut, and had sex with it after lubing himself up with some butter, obviously.
The First Story: "TIFU By Cumming Into a Coconut"
But what these budding engineers didn't share was what happened when things went wrong. Luckily technology has now advanced to the point where men can finally open up about their virginal romps in total anonymity, thanks to one disturbing Reddit thread. Needless to say, said coconut soon became a breeding ground for flies with disastrous consequences. From there, it only gets worse from the guy who discovered his coconut allergy halfway through the deed to one gentleman who didn't quite manage to carve out a big enough hole. The coconut abusers have even come up with their own vocabulary to describe their 'coconutting' experiences. While we doubt the authenticity of all the accounts, there is still the very real possibility that some of the stories are true. You can check out a lowdown of the discussion here at your own peril. Be warned: the thread is the very definition of NSFW.
Long story short: Sometime around , a horny teenager fucked a coconut and repeatedly ejaculated inside said coconut, causing flies to lay eggs inside. Once said horny teenager fucked the coconut one last time before throwing it away, he ended up having his dick covered in maggots, rotten butter, and more. On August 5th, , said horny teenager made a throwaway reddit account to post his story of fucking a coconut, which you can find here. On the same day, an idiot posted his story in which, after being tempted to fuck the coconut by the initial post - which warns people not to fuck coconuts - he was forced to break the coconut in half using a hammer as his dick wouldn't come out. You can find it here. On August 6th, , another idiot was tempted to fuck a coconut and became the third person to post a fuck-up story, located here. This was the 5th recorded instance of someone fucking a coconut. Later that day, someone attempted to fuck a watermelon and failed miserably. This idiot tried to masturbate creatively due to the coconut fucking posts. The 18th recorded instance is quite disgusting.